


Elegy

by mydeira, Sadbhyl



Series: Responsible Adults (aka, The Menageaverse) [37]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-07
Updated: 2012-06-07
Packaged: 2017-11-07 04:35:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/426966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mydeira/pseuds/mydeira, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadbhyl/pseuds/Sadbhyl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Giles watches as things fall apart</p>
            </blockquote>





	Elegy

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during the events of Once More With Feeling. The words of the Great and Powerful Joss are used because they were the best and I couldn’t improve on them.
> 
> Written by Sadbhyl, beta'd by Mydeira

Buffy barely made a sound as she worked out. That more than anything concerned Giles. She had always been so vocal during training before. But now she worked with silent efficiency, barely invested in the exercises. When she did speak, she was hesitant and uncertain. So unlike her former self it was disconcerting.

But of course she wasn’t the only one to be so reserved. More and more they all seemed to be closing down, isolating themselves. He saw it every day, in Willow’s avoidance, in Xander’s unusual quiet. Unsurprisingly, he saw it most in Ethan and Joyce. More and more he was convinced that going back to England was the right decision.

Joyce seemed to still welcome his attentions, but every time they were together seemed like the last time. And Ethan, always meddlesome and interfering, was now passive and uninterested, never involving himself in anything, simply watching Joyce whenever she was in the room with an expression Giles found unreadable. This was how relationships ended, made all the more awkward and uncomfortable by the fact that there were three of them involved.

He was startled back into attention when Buffy snap kicked the board in his hands in two. He gathered himself. “Good, good.”

She looked doubtful. “I feel like I should bow, or have honor or something.”

“It may seem hokey,” he said, smiling sympathetically, “but we need to work on precision and concentration as much as power.” He moved to set the boards down on the counter, still distracted by his concerns. “We're still not sure what we're facing.”

Buffy began stretching out against the pommel horse. “Oh, you'll figure it out. I'm just worried this whole session's gonna turn into some training montage from an 80's movie.”

“Well, if we hear any inspirational power chords, we'll just lie down until they go away. Anyway, I don't think we need to work that much on your strength.”

“Yeah, I'm pretty spry for a corpse.” Her tone was flip as she sprung into a handstand on the vault, but Giles could hear something in her tone, something dark.

He had to shake her out of this lethargy. “What about school? Did you make any headway with your appeal for re-admittance?”

With a graceful pivot she dropped back to the floor, stretching out her shoulders as she looked at him, puzzled. “I thought you were going to do that. Pull some of your academic strings.”

Which he had suggested to her as a last resort. “Of course,” he replied almost inaudibly.

She faintly smiled. “What would I do without you?” Her eyes followed him as he moved to the weapons board and pulled down several daggers, then braced herself for what she knew was coming. “I’m ready.”

“No you’re not!” his heart screamed, and suddenly he was overwhelmed by it all. Her denial, his own pain, the estrangement of his lovers. And it all came pouring out of him.

You're not ready for the world outside  
You keep pretending, but you just can't hide  
I know I said that I'd be standing by your side  
But I...

Your path's unbeaten and it's all uphill  
And you can meet it, but you never will  
And I'm the reason that you're standing still  
But I...

I wish I could say the right words to lead you through this land  
Wish I could play the father and take you by the hand  
Wish I could stay  
But now I understand  
I'm standing in the way

He moved to the connecting door, watched Ethan in the other room moving at normal speed, talking quietly with Anya. His hands clenched and opened, wanting to reach out but not able to. All the questions, all the doubts about his relationship with Ethan and Joyce crowded out his concerns about Buffy, and the focus of his song changed.

You keep trying to outstrip your past  
You show restraint, but it’s fading fast  
I can’t help wonder just how long it’ll last  
But I . . .

She’s the balance, the point we share  
But even she seems to no longer care  
If it’s over, we should just be fair,  
But I . . .

He looked from Ethan to Buffy and back, finally moving back towards his protégé, symbol of everything that had gone wrong in the last few months.

I wish I could be the strong one to bring you all some peace  
Wish I could see the answers to make your questions cease  
Wish I could stay  
And help you find release  
But I’m standing in the way  
I’m standing in the way

Buffy looked up at him, puzzled. “Did you just say something?”

Startled, he shook off the musical compulsion. “No, of course not. Had enough?”

“Yeah, I think I’m good. I’m going to go see if the others have come up with anything yet.”

He followed her, watched her cross the floor to join Willow on the landing. And realized yet again that leaving was his only option.

Believe me, I don't wanna go  
And it'll grieve me 'cause I love you so  
But we both know

Wish I could say the right words  
To lead you through this land  
Wish I could play the father  
And take you by the hand

Wish I could stay  
Wish I could stay  
Wish I could stay  
Wish I could stay...

He was surprised to find himself standing next to Tara near the office desk, the two of them watching the girls sadly. Tara glanced at him, equally surprised, quickly looking away to hide something from him.

Before either of them could speak, the door burst open to reveal Joyce, wild eyed and panicked. “It’s Dawn! She’s gone!”

“Gone? What do you mean, gone?” Buffy demanded.

“I was in the basement doing laundry and I heard a noise upstairs. But when I went to look, the front door was standing open, and Dawn was gone.”

Giles went to her, putting an arm around her to comfort her. “I’m sure she’s fine. She probably just needed a study break and went for a walk, forgot to shut the door.”

“Or not,” Spike declared, appearing in the doorway. “Lookie lookie what I found.”

The others came closer as well. “Hardly looks strong enough to have caused all this,” Ethan commented critically.

Spike shook his head. “Works for him. Has a nice little story for the Slayer, don't you? Come on, then.” He gave the creature a shove to the forefront. “Sing.”

When he spoke, the dull monotone of the puppet’s voice was a sharp contrast to the musical coloratura of the past few days. “My master has the Slayer's sister hostage at the Bronze because she summoned him and at midnight he's going to take her to the underworld to be his queen.”

“What does he want?” Giles asked coldly.

The minion threw out an arm. “Her.” With that he threw off Spike’s grip and disappeared back into the night.

“So,” Buffy said, her voice thick with resignation. “Dawn's in trouble. Must be Tuesday.” She turned to the others. “So what's the plan?”

“Plan, schman,” Xander replied with enthusiasm. “Let's mount up.”

Giles stepped towards Buffy, blocking Xander’s way. “No.”

“Uh, Dawn may have had the wrong idea in summoning this creature, but . . .” Anya said, obviously concerned. “I've seen some of these underworld child bride deals and, and they never end well. Well, maybe once.”

“That probably all depends on how you define domestic bliss,” Ethan interjected archly. “But I hardly think Rupert intends for us to abandon the girl altogether.”

Joyce looked at Giles in confusion. “You aren’t suggesting we just stay here.”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” He focused on Buffy’s face, saw the hurt blooming there. “Buffy's going alone.”

Spike snorted derisively. “Don't be a stupid git. There is no. . . . “

Giles cut him off. “If I want your opinion, Spike, I'll . . . I'll never want your opinion.”

“A little confusion spell could . . .” Willow began to offer.

Tara cut her of coldly. “No! I mean,” she pulled back, wilting under Willow’s surprise, “I don't think it'll help.”

“Look, forget them, Slayer,” Spike stated. “I've got your back.”

She looked up at him with wounded eyes. “I thought you wanted me to stay away from you. Isn't that what you sang?”

“Did Spike sing a widdle song?” Xander taunted meanly.

Anya looked more curious. “Would you say it was a breakaway pop hit or more of a book number?”

His pleasure stolen, Xander sighed. “Let it go, sweetie.”

But Spike never took his eyes off of Buffy. “Fine,” he said coldly. “I hope you dance till you burn. You and the little bit.” He stormed out.

Joyce stepped away from Giles to stand next to Buffy. “You can’t intimidate me into staying.”

“Mom, you couldn’t protect me when I was dead, how can you hope to help Dawn?”

Joyce looked crushed by Buffy’s unfeeling words. “I did the best I could.”

“And here I am.” She turned to glare at Giles. “You're really not coming.”

He shook his head. “It's up to you, Buffy.”

“What do you expect me to do?”

“Your best.”

Buffy simply stared at him. Then finally without speaking a word, she turned and walked out of the shop, betrayal etched in every line of her body.

As soon as the door closed behind her, Joyce turned on him. “What are you doing? She needs us! Dawn needs us!”

The panic in her voice stabbed at him, but he remained resolute. “Buffy is quite capable of handling the situation herself. She has done so any number of times.”

“But what if she can’t? You’ve seen her! She’s so . . .”

It was his turn to be angry. “Detached? Emotionally disconnected? Cold? Of course I see it.” In the periphery of his vision, he was aware of the children all drawing away, giving them a semblance of privacy. Ethan, unsurprisingly, only came closer. “She’s not going to step up and get back to any semblance of normal if we coddle her, Joyce.”

“She was _dead_ , Rupert! Or have you forgotten that?”

“If we let this behavior continue, she might as well have stayed dead.”

She slapped him. Hard. He didn’t flinch as the sting flooded his cheek. She glared at him, watching for a reaction he didn’t give her. Finally she said, “Buffy’s not the only one who’s gotten cold.”

Ethan reached out to try to comfort her, laying a hand on her tense shoulder. “Joyce . . .”

“Don’t!” She jerked away from his touch. “We wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for you.”

Giles saw hurt flare briefly in Ethan’s eyes before they narrowed. “That’s true. You’d still be wallowing in mourning over her corpse.”

Her face tightened as though struck. “You are a heartless bastard.”

“Which should come as no surprise to anyone.”

Giles could see tears well up in her eyes, but she turned and stormed away rather than give either of them the satisfaction of seeing. Tara caught her hand and spoke to her sympathetically.

“What the hell is happening to us?” he asked Ethan quietly.

“Chaos, mate.” His tone was almost reverent. “The universe rushes eternally towards chaos. No matter how much we try to prevent it.”

“I should think you of all people would revel in that fact.”

“You’d think so, wouldn’t you?”

Giles had never heard Ethan’s voice so bitter.


End file.
